Daily Funny Facebook Statuses

• The surest sign that intelligent life exists somewhere else in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
• There’s a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it isn’t a fence.
• The really long sarcastic ‘Hahahahahaha’ before the ‘No.’
• Hmm… these weren’t skinny jeans when I bought them.
• Your beauty is so rare, nobody can find it.
• “Kidnapping” is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as “Surprise Adoption”
• Saying,” OH YEAH I REMEMBER ” when you really don’t.
• Volleyball is just a more intense game of “Don’t let the balloon touch the floor” (115+Likes in 19 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• “Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
• I no longer jump to conclusions because it hurts my back.
• A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you.
• I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
• It isn’t the pace of life that concerns me. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
• Many a wife thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
• I am actually quite pleasant until I’m awake.
• Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
• Like sands through the hourglass, Facebook wastes the days of our lives.
• I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
• The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.